LAST 48 HOURS NEWS AGAIN IN FULL:
First up tonight, the WalMart killer. This morning we broke the news that a WalMart manager went postal in a bloody attack on his coworkers. Anyway, before we could get our lefty talking heads on to whine about about gun control it turned out the shooter was black. Since this is a responsible network news channel, this is the last you’ll ever hear of this story. Over to you Tom.
Thanks Diane. Next tonight, the guy throwing rocks at a gay bar. When we covered this yesterday we told you the LGBTDisney+ community was under attack, and you should let them rape kids. If you saw the CCTV pictures, though, you’d have thought “he throws like a bender”, and you’d be right. Police described that the man in custody as being ‘guilty.
Guilty and extremely gay’.
Thanks Tom. And finally, the man who shot up a gay bar in Colorado isn’t a MAGA Republican like the whole media told you after all, he’s a schizo tranny. And we can’t even call him ‘he’ any more. Again, you’ll never hear about this story [beat] ever again. [roll music] Goodnight.