U.S.—All around the country, conservatives have invited friends and family over to enjoy food, funny commercials, football, and being insulted by every major corporation in America.
“I love football,” said local Christian conservative Brad Longaberger, “but I also love the humbling experience of sitting through hours of sermons from powerful corporations reminding me how rotten and terrible I am for not supporting progressive causes!”
According to sources, millions of Americans are looking forward to taking a much-needed break from scolding about masks, social justice, immigration, and toxic masculinity to be scolded about all of those things while watching a really fun football game.
“It’s a great tradition in our family,” said Longaberger. “Now who is playing again?”